Lady Lost in Love

My, time sure does FLY } {

2009-08-01T00:30:00.000-07:00

THINGS HAVE CHANGED SO MUCH SINCE I LAST WROTE. THERE'S NOT EVEN ENOUGH TIME TO SHARE IT ALL SO, THE BEST THING WILL BE TO TAKE IT A LITTLE AT A TIME. FOR STARTERS--- I AM SO NOT PREGNANT ANY MORE 'LOL'.
MARCH 31st OF 2008 I GAVE BIRTH TO MY LITTLE PRINCESS--> ETERNITY ANGELINA. (SHE IS A WHOLE BLOG ALL ON ITS OWN, FOR ANOTHER DAY- I GUESS) I HAVE MOVED TWICE SINCE THEN, FIRST TO APPLE VALLEY WHERE I CELEBRATED MY VERY FIRST APARTMENT; I WAS SO EXCITED!!! DURING THAT TIME, I WAS WORKING AT A CHIROPRACTIC CLINIC. WELL.... I WAS 'WRONGFULY' TERMINATED; SO ANGEL & I DECIDED TO MOVE TO ""PHELAN"". IT IS SUCH A NICER APARTMENT AND FOR LESS RENT. (CAN'T SHOW YOU ANY PICTURES AS OF NOW, BECAUSE UMM... SINCE I LAST WROTE I HAVE BROKE THE CAMERA I HAD :( THEN ANGEL BOUGHT ME ONE FOR VALENTINE'S DAY LAST YEAR, AND (COUGH) I BROKE THAT ONE TOO. """""""
SO, ANYWAY, I HAVE NOT SEEN MY FRIENDS AS MUCH (WHICH TRULY SADDENS ME) BUT I HOPE TO SEE THEM AT MY WEDDING!!! THAT'S RIGHT, MY ANGEL PROPOSED (ANOTHER STORY FOR ANOTHER DAY). SO NOW, I RUN AROUND AFTER MY LITTLE TERROR; I HAVE TO DEAL WITH MY SON'S PRE-TEENAGE YEARS; I AM PLANNING A 'SMALL' BUT 'CUTE' ($$0.00 BUDGET) WEDDING AND AM GOING FOR MY REAL ESTATE LISCENCE. """wowowowowowowow"""" i know.

Just a Reminder

2008-02-20T11:15:00.000-08:00

So, our baby shower is this coming Saturday (want to come?). I am very excited and really tired at the same time, because I have been doing so many lil' KYUTE things to celebrate this occassion. But believe it or not, with all the things I STILL have to do, the one thing on my mind this morning is 'friendship -vz- relgion'.
WHY? Well, while I have ALL my faith in God and love him with all my LIFE...I am (as are all of us) still a sinner. I know this sounds weird but I sent out a few 'Valentine' wishes to some good friends of mine. Well, one of them answered me back with HER beliefs and was honest with me. She said she is 'cristian' and does not celebrate Valentine's Day after learning where it came from. (I'm ok with that part....) But, then I started wondering: Would she still come to my
babyshower. After all, Angel & I are not married and are having this baby together while 'knowing' that God doesn't approove of 'sex before marriage' and exct.
So, does that make my personal love and devotion to God worth anyless than others? Does this make my 'celebration' any less important? Angel & I currently live with his mom:who is a full and devoted cristian and has been for more than 20 years. She was also married to a pastor for over 15 years (until he recently passed away last year). I love that even with all her turmoil and suffering her love for the Lord still grows strong. She practices her love for Him on an everyday basis and yet acknowledges that just like everyone else, she too is a sinner. But one thing I don't see is her passing judgement on to others, she leaves it all to God. She has us living in her house even under this circumcstances and gives us the full support that we need (as a mother and a friend). I've noticed that even with all the 'big-sinners' in her life, she does not critize or tries to make the decions for her friends and family.
I just hope my "friend" can ignore other people's decisions to make their own and just be a friend like God wants us to be . I know this is too much 'thinking' from just using Valentine's Day as a reminder of 'appreciation in friendship'....but in reality there are other circumstances in past between my FRIENDS and I that have me 'wondering'. At the end, I am clebrating this baby shower because to me this baby is a miracle.

Where are we at today?

2008-02-13T10:46:00.000-08:00

Well, I'd like to start off by sharing: I AM BLESSED! Lord, you have hugged me when I am scared, you have comforted me when I am alone, you have guided me when I am lost and you have sheltered me when I am in need.

Yesturday (going back to the last time I wrote in here): I was living in a KRAZY enviroment with some KRAZY people, my days were passing me by slowly and I felt I was at a road's end. As you may recall, I was single and tired of all the 'hook ups' or friends and family trying to convince me to find a man. I was working with some fun people and my priorities were my son, my brothers, my friends..then me.

Today (as in NOW): I am living in a WHOLE different enviroment where I feel comfortable with people who are able to excersice their relationship with God. I am in a WHOLE new situation but yet I see so many new roads have opened up for me. There has been so many changes that I feel my days are going by TOO fast. I asked God that if it was in his plans to send me a life partner, for him to send me that guy who HE knew I would fall IN LOVE with. He did... Angel. Angel & I are in the start of a new relationship and EVERYDAY is an adventure. But even more exciting is that: I am expecting a new baby!!! It's a girl....due March 27th, 2008. (SCARY) My son Branden is super excited because he has two brothers with his dad and is finaly getting a sister. The 'uncles' can't wait to meet her aswell. Frankie (my 17yr old bro) is on his way to graduate this year (one year early) and has planned out his future. I have not been able to see my friends but will soon at mybabyshower(Feb 23rd....which is two days before my 30th bay...AAHHH!).

Tomorrow (looking into the future):Only God knows what with time life will bring. But this I know... ALONE WE WILL NEVER BE.

Take a breath or two

2007-06-28T17:02:00.000-07:00

I realized yesterday,(after I got home, fell on my knees and began to cry a river) that I had distanced myself from my father up above for awhile there. As a result I began putting up a wall around myself as if it would keep me safe from others. Since I had deserted him, I began to believe that he had deserted me. But all along he has been there and continuously saves me from giving up.

This month has brought many tears to a lot of people I admire. My friend Sylvia is what the ‘hippies’ would call a ‘wild child’. She is hyper active, loud, funny, and blunt and has one of the biggest hearts I have ever seen. She is constantly putting her hand out there and people tend to take her arm. She has so much going on right now but still finds time to stop and listen to your needs. Don’t get me wrong, we end up pissing eachother off every now and then, but of course those differences are what makes our friendship stronger. This ‘little’ woman has a ‘big’ mouth just as she does a heart. I admire the strength she has found with all the crap put in to her life. Well, these past few weeks, her faith has been tested and yet she still standing. Sylvia lost a very good friend just a few weeks ago. I remember having the pleasure of meeting Patty. She was a beautiful, young, smart looking woman. Plenty of times she was there for Sylvia and that says enough about her to me. It’s strange how you meet people through out your life, which you may never see or remember again. As for Patty, I only met up with her three times, but that was enough for her to have an impacted me.

Just seeing how hard this hit Sylvia, I began to feel her pain. It makes me admire Sylvia for her strength. Especially the way I’ve been feeling lately. Needless to say, I had forgotten to smile for a while there. I’m sure the correct medical term would be ‘depression’….In my opinion is simply loosing yourself in thought.

I tried breaking away but no matter which way I’d try run to, I felt a door shut in my face. For days, I’ve been feeling like I’ve been swimming in the ocean; with out and end. There is no particular reason why I felt this way….too many to pin point. One of the biggest things in my mind has been the look on Sylvia’s nephew’s face…Eddie. He had been in a serious relationship with Patty for the past five years.

When I think about Eddie and the loss he had to endure, my heart aches for him and his recent lost love. Even just now, as I picture him in my mind, I imagine the depth of his pain in his eyes.
I can read all his unanswered questions and begin to wonder myself, what of me? What will become of my own personal death? Will those I loved the most miss me and need me? Will those that hurt me deeply come around and ask the Lord for forgiveness? It saddens me to see how much Eddie longs for his lovely lady and yet there is nothing none of us can do to make it better. That feeling of sorrow has impacted me in such a big way.

All of sudden some thing happens that simply takes it all away in a second, a miracle…. I see Branden smile. There is nothing out there which touches my heart and soul as that unconditional love my son gives me. The Lord uses Branden as a reminder of just how much love he has for me. And with that love I can be strong enough like Sylvia to pray with faith for Eddie; who has just a few days ago, lost another important member of his family.

Lord, to you I pray in faith. I pray that you may forgive us for our sins and give us the strength, patience and understanding that we need. I pray that you may take those we love under your wing and keep them safe until we meet again.

A New Front Line

2007-06-22T07:16:00.000-07:00

I have not written in my blog since I wrote about my 29th birthday (did I say 29? I mean 19/OK-29). First it was due to me not wanting to deal with the changes under blog. Then after, things kept popping out here and there (NO! not my boobs!). But, I'm here now.....and I've realized this is something I need to do. After all, I had already established that 'writing is my therapy'..........(AND BOY, DO I NEED SOME OF THAT!).

In just a few months I endured many changes within my self (some for the good and some NOT so good). As I continuously try to 'walk the line', I can't help but notice that there are many distractions in my life. (Ergo many reasons why I have not blogged). I've made new friends (lost a few); fell in and out of -like- (A*K*A* near love); packed my bags so as I can move (ended up staying put); saw old friends (and some enemies); went out partying a few nights (also was sick a few days); but overall......HAVE MUCH TO SHARE!!!

Of course, I am unable to share it ALL with you at this time...but I promise my readors (Joe & Chely) and myself to write more often. I just hope someday we can get a few more peeps showing their love this way, I take my 'VeNtInG' very seriously...DoN't U kNoW!?!?!

So it begins, my farewell to my 20's (boo hoo, hoo)

2007-02-27T17:39:00.000-08:00

Thursday

My co-workers & I celebrated my birthday at Don Jose’s Restaurant in Montclair (where I have been celebrating for the past ?????????/ years) and had a BLAST! Who would have thought that it was going to be so much fun (let alone with my co-workers). Honestly, I thought I was going to be all depressed due to some family circumstances, but at the end….I was dancing on that dance floor with no plans to stop. I got a lap dance from two of my co-workers and got a bit tipsy (drunk) on a few ‘Adios Amigos’ in very huge glasses. With all the alcohol, I got the nerve to go up and howl to the song “Friends in Low Places” (of courses---again) & ‘Any Man of Mine”. (AWFUL……..) My favorite part was dancing to Etta James ‘At Last’. AWESOME!!!

P.S. No cake.

Friday

All tired and sleepy, I still managed to come to work and try my best to accomplish a few things here & thee. (To tell you the truth, I don’t remember that day at all….I must have been sleepwalking.) Well, anyway, I went home to get ready because of course, I was going out to celebrate my birthday (DUH!!!), there was a package waiting for me. Oooh, how exciting!!!! It was a book and a lovely card from a friend.

Anyway, I got SEXY and took of to be with my bestest of friends at Casa Cabral in Commerce. That night was so much fun too. I tried ‘apple martinis’ for the first time and eventually was a little tipsy (drunk) and way too friendly with the cute bartender…..but I was so happy to be celebrating with such good friends. I got cool gifts…..yeigh me! Afterwards we went to my friend’s house and THEY karaoke while I felt asleep.

P.S. No cake.

Saturday

All day, I knew I needed to sleep but it was so hard to take a nap because I was from one place to another. Not to mention, at my house there is just too many people coming in and out. (AAHHH!!!) Well, eventually, I just got dressed and went out with a few other of my friends to Carlos O’Brian……which was BORING!!!!!! So, we went to my friends house for a while and took tequila shots and again I got tipsy (drunk)…..(notice a pattern here?).

Please note: I am not a drinker. Therefore I wanted to share how I did get tipsy (drunk) on my 21st (for the 9th time) Birthday. K?

P.S. No cake.

Sunday

So, it is finally my birthday – 02/25/07. I woke up looking like S%^%$%$*! And for some reason everyone at the house was just like whatever with me. So, I decide to be a bum for the day & just clean my room. In the middle of the day, I noticed something on the table…..a heart shaped cake my fiend made for me. Aww….how cute! Well, just when I thought that was it…..by the end of the day I got another surprise. My brother’s girlfriend bought me an ice cream cake. Man, you should have seen ALL the pinchi candles on it. I think they had to buy like two boxes or something…..later that night, my lil’bro decides to have fun. Let’s just say that by the end of the night, the cake was on everybody’s face and all over ME!!!!!

P.S. Two cakes!!!!!!!

Monday

By this time, I really need a BED!!!!!! I walked in to my job and found my desk so beautifully decorated with balloons & confetti and gifts. My friend had also put little sticky notes all over the place, hidden on the keyboard, on the monitor and even the phone. One of my friends took me to lunch (she had me at hello). At the end of the day….we all met in the conference room to eat CAKE!!!! My supervisor bought me a chocolate cake & my friend bought me a tres-leches cake.

P.S. Two cakes!!!!!!!!

PICTURES WILL BE ON THE NEXT BLOG.

Do you see what I see?

2007-02-07T12:52:00.000-08:00

My friend Oscar forwarded me this amazing picture. This shot holds such depth and creates so many questions for me that don’t necessarily have to even be answered.

It serves as a reminder that we have to take a breather from our many responsibilities once in a while (more often than not) and ponder on all the wonders this life holds. Of course, our life is full of stress, distractions, BILLS, problems, and many other excuses, but we also have been blessed just as much.

Whatever our many different blessings may be in our life it should never be overshadowed by a moment of disappointment.

Am I shrinking or what?

2007-01-31T13:01:00.000-08:00

“As you grow older you grow wiser.”
Hum, I suppose some people stop growing even before they hit puberty.

It is easy to say ‘I understand’ but it does not necessarily mean that the person making this comment ‘really understands’. What am I babbling about? People. Dumb people, who instead of making their life easier by comprehending the most simplest things, are out there to make it harder on me and those others who’s mind works just a tat bit faster than theirs. (Wow, lately I’ve become this OLDER, BITTER, People get on my Nerves, woman.) (Maybe it is just the fact that I am WOMAN and my emotions change by the second!)

Ok, I will explain: There are a few people in my life who seem to innocently get on my last nerve. The young ladies I live with are incapable of cleaning after themselves, of feeding themselves and sometimes even clothing themselves. (The following names have been changed to keep anyone from kicking my %*%^#@.) “Malibu” is 17 yrs old and walks through the house as if nobody else exists by pushing people out of her way as she bounces from one room to another, talking non-stop on the cell phone. “Oompa-loompa” is about to turn 18 yrs old and has not grasped the concept of heating up a ‘tortilla’ or making her bed, she will sit there all day until somebody cooks and serves her. “Babygirl” is going to celebrate her 16th birthday soon and can never find a thing to wear, how to do her hair or even what to do next. Worst part is: they recently asked me what a ‘conscious’ was. (That cannot be good…..)

These three young ladies make such and effort to look good, have a boyfriend and get what they want when they want it. I love these girls very much and would do ‘just about anything’ to keep them out of trouble. I have sat plenty of times with this girls (who by the way are so not my daughters) and have had very good conversations. They say I teach them things in regards to the ‘facts of life’ and that they love me too. So why then have they not learned to put a new roll of paper in the restroom or pick up their dirty towels or close the door behind them each time they come in the house or to wash their own dish or to take a message or ….OK, I’m back.

Again, I ask am I shrinking? Because I’ve heard that as you get older you loose your height and every little thing bothers you. I figured that is the only reason I don’t have as much patience as before, that fact that I am getting older. Now, I know 28 is not old on a regular basis, but if you lived what I’ve lived you would pretty much be very tired. Oh, well, I will be 29 next month which gives me a whole year to be the big 30!!! (help…)

Please meditate on this.....

2007-01-30T17:47:00.000-08:00

So, every now & then (everyday) I receive a few (a lot) forward emails (take my time from actually working emails) and have many mixed feelings (I am a confused person) in regards to them. Time consuming or not, I do enjoy them. Some of them make us cry, laugh (my favorite) and get us motivated (give me a cup of coffee & I am already motivated).

“What was my point to this?”…..oh, yeah!!!! I received the following words (more than once) and it is one of my favorites. So, please read, meditate on it, memorize it (if you are not as old as I am) and keep it in your heart.
I strongly believe in these words and am happy to share them with you (both).

P.S. I would have included the awesome picture if I wasn’t in such a hurry to go home and eat. Much love, a friend 

“”As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.””

My weekend...

2007-01-29T12:37:00.000-08:00

Friday, Branden & I went to see the Epic Movie before his dad picked him up on their way to Texas (for a Quinceañera celebration). That night I picked up my little brother Frankie and tried hard to avoid Sylvia (my roommate) since she was on one of her trips (alcoholism is bad). I was unable to sleep that easily because I think I got used to Branden again and as I knew he was going to be so far away, I panicked, but Frankie came and put me to sleep then went off to see a movie with his girlfriend (blah-blah) in the living room.

Saturday morning Luigui called me to let me know they had arrived well. I still missed Branden. Later in the afternoon, Frankie & I began our great adventure. We went on the 'Metrolink', which is a bit fancier (more expensive) than the regular Red Line & Blue Line. It's nice, they have restrooms and are ALOT more comfortable than the pinchi BUS!!!! Anyway, needless to say, the adventure began when we kept trying to leave the house at a certain time so as not to miss the scheduled train, but things kept coming up.

Finally, we left the house in time, so we thought......we missed the train by 5 minutes. After an hour wait, we boarded the San Bernardino train going to LA Union Station.
It was both our first time and we were both looking out the window like two little kids. It was nice except for this one young passenger that annoyed the heck out of me. He kept talking as if he was the “S*^%^*%*T”, bragging about things to just about anybody who would listen to him. For a minute there I picture his little body flying out through the window, I’m glad my little bro was there to hold my ground. Anyway, we get off the trains and walk out the station with question marks on the clouds and street signs (obviously we were lost). Wait, let me not forget to mention that when we left the city of Fontana it was sunny and my brother had no sweater or jacket and was wearing shorts. We got to the city of angels to fond out that it was crying (raining). So, I figured, since we are a bit lost, getting dredged, and in a hurry because we had to see my brother J>D> by a certain time, I decided to take a taxi. Well…….the taxi driver said in a very rude and stupid manner “You don’t need a taxi. You are just going right there (and pointed to one of the many buildings in downtown Los Angels). You only go down a few lights, make a right, go under the bridge and you will be right there.” (Still remembering my little brother was with me.) I replied in a minor sarcastic way “Thank you, sir. You have been a bunch of help. I guess now we will have some lunch money. (You s*^&^&*!!)”

Anyway, Frankie & I ran across the street to the Placita Olvera’s market place and bought a sweater for him with the ‘would be’ taxi man’s money. Continued to walk down the two blocks like the TAXI man said, down and under the bridge like the TAXI man said and ended up in front of the building, like the TAXI man said. Why am I still upset then???? Because we STILL had to walk instead of getting the TAXI. We STILL got wet due to the pouring rain. We STILL got there late. Because of two (2!!!!) miserable minutes, they did not allow us to visit with our brother. Now, if I was an angry person, I would go back to that TAXI driver whom denied us service and run him over with his own TAXI. But, I am not an angry, revengeful, unforgiving, impatient person. I am a bit Temperamental at times, but not an angry person.

SUNDAY!!!!!!
Ok, basically…….The woman I live with has become a BAD drunk….See, there is good-drunk, the type that drinks for fun and gets over it the next day to continue with normal duties in life. Then there is bad –drunk, the type that drink as a hobby (everyday) and NEVER comes down, but in the case they do come down from that type of high….there is hell to pay. She slams doors, throws things, breaks dishes and wants to beat up her kids……I have to look after her children and her.

These events bring me to a complete halt for about 3 seconds. Ok, Lori, pause, breath and continue your path. I am in a crossroads at this time and must decide if I walk over these rusty tracks to get to the other side or do I keep waiting for that train to come that might just end up running me over????

Goodbye 2006, Thank U 4 a good year!

2007-01-09T13:03:00.000-08:00

I have been asked by half of my readers (which equals to one) as to why I have not posted for such a long while. My answer was and is "I have so much to say and nothing at all." go figure?????

So, since my last post, I have been in a 'roller coaster' of emotions and slightly got off for a few moments so as to give you an update to a few previous posts:

10-26-06 All in his hands
In this post I took the opportunity to send out some words to a few of my closest friends in hopes that they would Aleve them of some of their painful situations. Well, let me just explain, everybody is different, and each one of our circumstances at time may seem similar to one another, but yet are different. Since my post, I have met with these few friends witch resulted in both new beginnings and pending farewells. It does break my heart to say that it one of my friends has chosen a path that separates her from ours but, to each their own. As for 'my friend's mess', my intention was never to make it all go away but only to show them that I am here for whatever they needed me for and whenever they need me. I believe they do know that now.

11/10/06 Hello, is there anybody out there?
YES, I was able to find a date to my work’s X-mas party!!! The party was Dec. 15, in Corona at a very elegant country club and it was a gambler’s delight. My date: Two young, handsome, FUNNY men!!! Yep, not one, but two dates for my party……WOW! Ok, I’m not ALL that, I wasn’t even going to go anymore. I was being so picky due to the fact that I am not trying to date at this time and at the same time if I’d ask one of my ‘old guy friends’ they would so confuse things. At the end, the two boys I work with, especially my friend Oscar, convinced me. Jerry took his girlfriend and Oscar took a date. But they both made it clear to the girls and to the rest of my co-workers, that I too was their date. In fact, when it came to the pictures, all you see is couples or single poses, my picture: A gorgeous young lady with one handsome man on each side. AWESOME!!!

12/05/06 Did U miss me?
Result of 11/05/06 Blessed weekend
Branden (my son) is now living back with me. You can only imagine how blessed I feel. My son is ecstatic. He’s been with me for the past month and of course, we both had to make some adjustments. But it is amazing to be able hug him good night and good morning. I know his dad misses him, because I missed Branden so very much when he went to live with him. So, I try very hard to remind Branden that his attention needs to go to his dad when he calls s him even if there is something he wants to see on TV. or if he wants to continue playing with the kids. Anyway, he started school over here and loves the facts that he doesn’t have to wear a school uniform and
that his mascot is a HAWK!

Branden and I always have a good talk before praying and going to bed. He tells me how his day went, his concerns and his wants. I tell him how my day went, remind him of his responsibilities and tell him just how much I love him. Example of my son’s prayer: Thank you Lord for taking care of us and loving us so much. Please take care of our family and everybody in the world. “Thank you for the food you give us and please help the children that have no food.”

Did u miss me??????

2006-12-05T12:29:00.000-08:00

Well, that's what I would ask if there was actually anybody out there reading my blog!!!!
Apparently, I don't have that many friends anymore. Which is a good thing considering XMAS is in less than 3 weeks......$$$$$$$$ (another story for another time).

Well, let me bring you up to date......on my last post I was sharing with you the fun I had with my friends at KEREOKEE (yes, I tortured those poor people) (some of them deserved it). Well, anyway, that very same weekend I had miracles come through for me one after another.....as if the LORD was showering over me and each drop brought a gift down especially for me.

I can't go into all the complete details but will definitely share with you the biggest 'rain drop' of them all: My son is coming home to his mommy!!! Those close to me know & understand the importance of this news.

Which brings me to an observation; I have taken some time and looked back into my previous posts realizing I don’t write as much about Branden as I have about my brothers or friends. Some might see it as me trying not to make this in to a so called ‘Mommy Blog”. I think it’s because, well, you don’t want to get me started when it comes to my son. There is too much to say & yet I’d feel I’d not say enough. With my son’s love, the possibilities are endless.

Yep, I am truly blessed and it feels great!

By the time Thanksgiving came, I had a long list of things I was thankful for, I can write a book. Although this holiday was spent away from my family due to various circumstances, I was surrounded by good friends. I've heard before that we cannot choose our family members but we sure can choose our friends. I think I've been getting a little better at that......

HAPPY HOLIDAYS to my Family, Friends & Fellow Bloggers!!!!!!!!

First there was Friday.......

2006-11-21T07:18:00.000-08:00

Where do I begin, this weekend was a ‘roller coater’ of emotions. It was a weekend filled with gladness and tears and resulting with many accomplishments.

Friday: My Chely (aka B/O/F) & I made it to Casa Cabral again. The special occasion this time was a formal introduction to our good friend Eva’s new boyfriend. His name is Flash “You know, like when you take a picture!?!” Eva kept saying. Well, let me just begin with, that Eva is very special to me. So if there is any man out there that will proclaim love for her I want to know what this guy is all about…..after all, Eva is stuck with me for life as I am with her. Flash was polite, handsome and respectful. Ok, good start. Now, MY Eva is a high spirited woman and loves life, living it to the fullest. Could this guy be capable of dancing along with her? Can he be the one that will understand her and still let her have her freedom to enjoy the world? I usually am good in reading people, but to my dismay, our new found friend, was tired from a long day’s work & a long ‘ass’ drive. So, I did not make any judgments, yet. I am looking forward to the many pleasant times we will have; because I know Eva, and she has not chosen a boring man. Not at all, you see, Eva dances to the beat of this world’s rhythm and to be in her presence is to feel the music. This man seems confident which lets me to belief; he is capable of being tender towards my good friend. Therefore, it’s evident that he too, may dance to the rhythm of Eva’s “Happy Feet”.

Belssed weekend.....

2006-11-13T07:42:00.000-08:00

FRIDAY
I am very much pleased to say that my angel came to visit me. I am talking about Chely, DAH!!!!! Anyway, we were finally able to spend some much needed time alone and exchange some much needed words. It’s so hard to keep up with friends & family and their life’s situations without getting side tracked from our own. Well, as I said before, Chely has been blessed with a good listening ear and has taught me to do the same. We went to see BABEL. (you know, the one with HOT Bradd Pitt.) Ladies, I must warn you, he looks a bit different in this movie so don’t come back crying “boo-hoo, I didn’t see his muscles, boo-hoo hoo”.

Guess what!!!! Some IDIOT (excuse my sincere and most accurate description) decided he had nothing else to do and went around breaking the glass windows to where the fire extinguishers are. (Que vavo…., pin…. menso, gran estu….!!!) Si todavia hablara como antes, OLVIDALO. Anyway, As the movie was just getting good (so we taught), the siren went on & we had to get out of the theater. Everybody from each and every theater had to get out and be swooshed out in the main lobby. Finally, some of us went back inside and saw the rest of the movie. The smart ones, got their money back and left. “Ahora quienes son las mensas?” For the record, the movie is a 'food for tought' type of a movie, so don't expect a main plot....

SATURDAY
Road trip!!!!!! For starters, Branden stayed with his daddy this weekend to celebrate his baby brother’s Babtizm. “Congratulations, Jose Alfredo!” Well, my friend Sylvia, her 5 kids and I took off to a birthday party in Sylmar (???????) somewhere near Magic Mountain (at least that’s what they told me). The party was ok but my favorite part was all the pictures I was able to take with my recently purchased ‘early XMAS present’ to myself. (Hee,hee) WHAT???? It’s not like anybody else was going to buy me one……

SUNDAY
The girls and I went to visit the church over there, it was my second visit. It is about a 10th of the size of the church I am currently attending; yet, I fell a lot happier. I suppose it had to do with the closeness of the people. Don’t get me wrong, I love my church and all it’s pastors. I know they do a lot for the community and my son has a blast. The people that attend my church are always smiling at us, waving or nodding a hello. There is just way too many people to have any close fellowship. Except of course, my good buddy Peter and his fiancé (my friend) Claudia. (their story will come later.)I probably would have already changed churches, the silly person that I am; if it weren't for the guidance I receive from tehm both.

Anyway, later in the evening we went to a Christian concert. My friend Cherise has a cousin named Jerry, who is a member of the church we visited. Jerry invited us to an awesome event. We all had fun and Sylvia’s oldest daughter-Melissa (17), her friend Aileen (17), Cherise (18) and her brother Ernie (19): accepted God into their life’s that night. It was AWESOME!!!!!

Yep, I had a blessed weekend :) How was yours?

Hello, is there anybody out there?

2006-11-10T07:22:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I got the invite to my job's Xmas Party at some fancy, smanchy, swanky Country Club (guess I'll feel right at home) for Dec. 15th. Do you know what that means??????
I have approximately 35 days or less to find a date. Um, HELLO!!!!! That’s going to be very hard seeing as ‘I don’t date, I don’t want to date, I don’t talk to anybody I use to, and I don’t feel like meeting new people’. Gee, I sound old & bitter……HELP!!!!

Ok, so the first thing I did was ponder for days as to who I should invite in hopes that it wouldn’t come down to my ex-husband, again. See, in 2004 I was working for Cingular Wireless (another story for another day) and my first Xmas there was celebrated at Marina Del Rey (if I remember correctly) on a yacht with the theme of “Gamblers Paradise”. They gave out a ‘fake’ check to turn in for ‘fake’ chips and play on the different tables. The tables included 21, poker, roulette and others I’m sure. At the end we turn in the chips for tickets, put our names on it and crossed our fingers to win ‘something’. I actually won this little radio, which of course was re-gifted to a nephew (?). Basically, the best part of the night was the food and being able to spend it with my best friend Chely (who got me working there in the first place) and our good friend Eva. The point to this was, I had to invite my ex husband to be my date. Why? I don’t know…...maybe because I thought I wasn’t going to be comfortable sitting next to my ex-brother-n-law (who by the way is MY best friend’s husband) with some other man there. You should see the faces he makes….scares the heck out of me all the time.

Well, enough of the walk down memory lane. Now, I’m trying to find a date for this Xmas Party. So, the boys at work were showing me pictures of their friends on My Space. Let me just share that the boys in my department our barely 21 yrs old, now, imagine how old their friends are. So, instead on agreeing with any of them, I called my niece (Chely’s lovely daughter Crystal) who happens to have a sweet boyfriend with a ‘cute’ cousin. Of course, I can’t take him, because technically he’s already taken. Actually he is going to have a baby soon. Ok, next……..

I got home and my friend Sylvia starts throwing names at me. Mostly names from the pool hall I go too often (I like to play pool). My reaction ::::> Too old, too short, too young, too much of a dork, too much of a drunk, too horny, too stupid…..get my drift? Of course, she said “F&^%^%^k off then!!!!!”

My coworker “D”, was eager for me to take her Daddy….don’t even ask me how old HE is, she’s 40+….. I asked if I could take my 10 year old son or my 17 year old lil’bro, and was politely rejected, “Adults only, blah, blah, blah, something, something.”

Finally, after teeth biting, nerve wrecking, butterflies in my stomach, I had the courage to call some guy I use to go out with (Yes, Chely, Nathan), yeah, um that didn’t go well at all. Point being, I still don’t have a date to my ‘pinchi’ party……………….

Day of the Dead

2006-11-01T13:07:00.000-08:00

More than 500 years ago, when the Spanish Conquistadors landed in what is now Mexico, they encountered natives practicing a ritual that seemed to mock death. It was a ritual the indigenous people had been practicing at least 3,000 years. A ritual the Spaniards would try unsuccessfully to eradicate. A ritual known today as Día de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead.
Today, people don wooden skull masks called calacas and dance in honor of their deceased relatives. The wooden skulls are also placed on altars that are dedicated to the dead. Sugar skulls, made with the names of the dead person on the forehead, are eaten by a relative or friend, according to Mary J. Adrade, who has written three books on the ritual.
The Aztecs and other Meso-American civilizations kept skulls as trophies and displayed them during the ritual. The skulls were used to symbolize death and rebirth.
The skulls were used to honor the dead, whom the Aztecs and other Meso-American civilizations believed came back to visit during the month long ritual.
Unlike the Spaniards, who viewed death as the end of life, the natives viewed it as the continuation of life. Instead of fearing death, they embraced it. To them, life was a dream and only in death did they become truly awake.
However, the Spaniards considered the ritual to be sacrilegious. They perceived the indigenous people to be barbaric and pagan. In their attempts to convert them to Catholicism, the Spaniards tried to kill the ritual. But like the old Aztec spirits, the ritual refused to die. To make the ritual more Christian, the Spaniards moved it so it coincided with All Saints' Day and All Souls' Day (Nov. 1 and 2), which is when it is celebrated today.
Previously it fell on the ninth month of the Aztec Solar Calendar, approximately the beginning of August, and was celebrated for the entire month. Festivities were presided over by the goddess Mictecacihuatl. The goddess, known as "Lady of the Dead," was believed to have died at birth, Andrade said.

Today, Day of the Dead is celebrated in Mexico and in certain parts of the United States and Central America. "It's celebrated different depending on where you go," Gonzalez said.
In rural Mexico, people visit the cemetery where their loved ones are buried. They decorate gravesites with marigold flowers and candles. They bring toys for dead children and bottles of tequila to adults. They sit on picnic blankets next to gravesites and eat the favorite food of their loved ones.

The above was taken from a story done on this event. As for myself, I do not practice this celebration but did feel the need in sharing. I do remember those I have lost often, and if I did make a sugar skull it would be in remembrance of my Grandmother Lala. (Story to be told in the near future.)

Where or where can he be???

2006-10-27T12:47:00.000-07:00

So, I'm sitting here, wondering, pondering, thinking, day dreaming, curious as to what are the next events in my life. This past months has brought many changes into my life. Throughout these events, the Lord has put many special people in my path who have been guiding lights, guardian angels, motivational speakers and loyal friends. I was only missing my ONE TRUE LOVE......then, today, someone sent him my way.

Wow! He's even got his wings already!!!!!!!

ALL IN HIS HANDS

2006-10-26T12:49:00.000-07:00

The following is a response to the many friends I currently have hurting with the mess in their lives. (P.S. They ALL love to sing......Hence the beginning of my dedication.)

Pretend you are going to stand up on stage and sing in front of millions of people. As you await the moment to walk up, your hands are sweating when you get a grip of the microphone. Your knees start to tremble when walking up the stairs and your body gets a nervous (red rash) reaction. Your eyes are unable to concentrate on just one thing and you begin to tremble thinking that you might make a fool of yourself. The music begins, the tone starts setting up the mood. And finaly, your voice starts singing the tune to a song that carries you into another world. What seemed to be fear at first, has been let go of, and there is a trust in your heart that compelles you to sing as loud as our ears can hear. There is a feeling of accomplishment when you have ended your performance and a sense of relief that you did it in the first place.
What all this mumbo jumbo means, is that life's circumstance are the same way. We encounter decisions, issues, feelings and distractions. We begin to fear that we may make THE WRONG decisions and therefore take too much pondering on the 'What ifs'.

Well, simply begin God to take whatever feelings that seem to be an obstacle in our lives, IS NOT ENOUGH. He is not going to make the decisions for us. The Lord is capable of everything, but what he does not do, is make the decisions for us. So, you & I must decide what action to take. We must decide when and when not to follow our instincts, our feelings, our wants. And whatever you decide, you must release the fear, the confusion, the impatience, the restlessness, the guiltiness, the wariness UNTO HIM. THAT IS WHAT HE HAS ASKED US TO DO. THAT, MY FRIEND, WILL BE THE BEST WAY HE CAN SPEAK TO YOU AND ADVICE YOU AND GIVE YOU THE SENSE OF CALMNESS IN YOUR HEART, BODY AND SOUL.

My Prayer for you: May you be able to see & feel the Lord's love in everything you do. He is there, walking along side of you. Simply waiting for you to grab hold of his hand. He has put friends in your life to hand you the tissues when things ma seem unbearable. But he still waits for you to lay your head on his shoulder so as to comfort you. With trust, he will broaden up the picture for you, as you have done for me plenty of times before.

The 'silly' things they say

2006-10-18T07:50:00.000-07:00

Kids say the cutest things. Beginning with the main one in my life. Branden, has always been entertaining. He is a silly, silly boy and comes out with the funniest things to say.

The other day I was talking to him on the phone as I was having dinner with a friend. My son asked me “Who are you with?” I said “A friend.” “Are you sure it’s just a friend? Are you sure it’s not your BF?”
Wait a minute, BF? I am not that old I still remember when we use to say BF in school. What does my 10 yr old know about BFS? Anyway, I asked “BF? What’s a BF?” He says, “Boyfriend. You’re with your boyfriend aren’t you?” I couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear and tried hard not to laugh. “Of course not baby. Mommy doesn’t have a boyfriend & will not have one for a very long time. Why would you say I was with my boyfriend?” He responded: “I want you to have a boyfriend. Well, not really. I don’t want you to have a boyfriend But then I feel bad because I don’t. So, I guess I do. I don’t know.”

Yesterday he asked me why do I always say bootie and not BUTT (when I say to him “I’m going to kick your booty!!!”) “Hello, you’re my baby. You still have a booty. Now, your dad, he has A BUUUTTTT.” “MA!!!! I’m not a baby!!!! I'm 10 years old already!” I said to him for the millionth time “You are still my baby & will always & forever be my baby. You will grow up, get married, have your own babies & yet, STILL BE MY BABY…” He brings a smile to my face by responding: “Yes, mom, I know I’ll always be your baby. But everyone else doesn’t have to know.”

My baby is SOOOOO cute! Isn’t my baby Soooo cute?
Yep, that’s my baby, sooooo cute!

Life isn't always beautiful

2006-10-17T18:33:00.000-07:00

I stayed late at work today, again. Just as I was about to leave, this song came out which caught my attention. ?????who sings it??????what's it call????????
Anyway, this particular verse hit me like a brick....."Life isn’t always beautiful, but the ride is."

Today, I woke up late again. I was moody and tired of the same routine. I had to walk to the ‘pinchi’ bus stop which is a mile away; in the dark at 5:45 am, with cold air on my ears; to sit next to a stinky, asks more questions than he should just to try to get into my pants, fat man. But……..Then again:
Today, I was blessed with another day, smiled as I smelled my coffee and laughed as I played with the dog. I was able to get my exercise in as I enjoyed the walk through a quite & peaceful neighborhood. I then was able to compare observations with the interesting man sitting next to me, who brightened up my day with his many compliments. I was extremely relieved when I arrived to my destination on time.

As soon as I arrived at work, my supervisor puts hundreds of more files on top of the ‘already’ behind files. The phones are ringing as if just waiting for me to imprint my ass cheeks on the chair. The coffee at work was cold and blah (boring). My coworkers walked in sharing their stories from last night and basically spend all day asking me for help translating every single call that came through. By the time lunch came, I had an enormous headache, was so hungry but had to wait for some of the employees to get out of the kitchen because we did not all fit. But…….Then again:
As I arrived at my awesome, bill paying, have my money for sure job my supervisor acknowledges my good efforts & many accomplishments and shows her trust in me by assigning me new duties. I was happy to know that my hearing was still ok when the music of the ring tones began to play. I made a delicious & fresh pot of coffee and enjoyed it while I laughed with my coworkers. I was so proud of myself today, as I assisted them with my bilingual abilities. Lunch came so soon, I had almost forgotten to pray for those who go without.

POINT IS::::::::::> Life isn’t always beautiful…..is the way you look at things that brings us happiness.

Please advice

2006-10-12T08:12:00.000-07:00

I recently send out the following email to a few friends in hopes to cheer them up & use it as a reminder that they are special in my life. "LIFE IS SHORT"
"They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them." Well, I guess it was too soon for me to send to a friend who is currently going through a seperation with his wife. He replied:"Lori, not to sound like a prick, but this made me really sad." I was :(

Now, what are the correct words to say? I ????????? But I replied the following:
"I am truly sorry to hear that my friend. It's sole purpose was to make you feel better not anything else. It was meant to remind you that you are special. And even though we do not know each other that well, your precence makes an impact. Please, as a friend, try a bit harder to let go of resentment and the pain you are holding so much to. As a faithful servant of God you should believe it all to be better once you leave it in his hands. He will look out for you & knows what is best for you. When the time comes, you will both be in the place you are supposse to be at; wether it is together or not. There are many things in our lifes that create sadness and heartache, but why should we stop our lifes over someone else's decisions or actions? I stronlgy belive all are this experiences of broken hearts are only to make you-YOU. They are to mold you into that person you where meant to be; so as to be prepared for that special person made for you, even if it is your current wife at the end of things.
I am sorry, again friend, I will have you in my prayers."

Please advice to your opinion my fellow bloggers.........

Cheers to the Battle Rocker

2006-09-29T07:37:00.000-07:00

A toast, with a great tasting cup of coffee, of course.

This morning I read his a.k.a. emergency re:coffee and it inspired me to give you my coffee stories.

To begin, let me just mentioned that I have been drinking since I was a little girl. My abuelita Chabela would make a daily (all day) dose of café con leche. Yummy :) I would have to sneak some for myself because my ‘mother’ would scream at me saying “you’re too young to be drinking coffee, I don’t even drink coffee and you think blah, blah, blah!”. So, anyway, I obviously get the genes from my abuela. When I finally became an adult (15 yrs old or so), I was able to make my own café con leche (ha, ha). Now my son asks me once and a while for a taste, I say to him “you are too little to be drinking coffee, after all your young body doesn’t need this type of addiction. :( but you can always take a sip off your mommy’s café con leche ;).

Today, I woke up at 5:00 am; put my ‘agua a ervir’, and peacefully enjoyed mi café con leche at home. I arrived here at work about 1 hr ago, drank a cup from the fresh pot of coffee made by my coworker. By the time I actually begin working (8:00am) I should be ready for another cup. Now that sounds like an addiction, but it’s not. I actually don’t drink another cup til much, much later in the day.

Here at work just about everybody drinks their coffee. In fact, for my supervisor’s birthday I found the perfect gift. She and her husband enjoy fishing and this gift was something they can take along on their fishing trips. As I walked in to ’Starbucks’ (hello….) I saw this gift set that had a thermos and a pair of mugs for the coffee inside a backpack looking thing (????). She was ecstatic!!!! (Yeigh, brownie points for me……..J/J)

As for those who don’t drink coffee, I don’t know if I should feel proud for you or sad for you.

Pero YO, necesito mi café con leche :)

Just another FISH in the Sea

2006-09-27T07:39:00.000-07:00

What’s your sign? I am a Pisces. From what I’ve learned Pisces are a water sign and are the most sentimental; which to me means they are the ones who seem to cry the most. Could that be why I cry for just about every little thing? I can be sharing a laugh with someone and feel a sentimental urge to take it all in. I have cried through movies as have all; but I cried through sleeping beauty, now that’s not normal. Being sad, mad and even happy make me cry. (Especially when I get so angry at something and can’t react to that person or that situation. Ooooh!) There is a game face that we are able to put on. As much as I tend to hurt for even people I don’t know, I am strong (at least I think so). From all the Pisces in my life (myself included) we are very caring and protective to ‘who’ belong to us. Notice I said ‘who’. The way I see it, we are not materialistic. You can have just about anything I own. Which in my case, would be plenty of shoes, books, pictures and cds. But, but! But don’t mess with anyone I have ‘proclaimed’ as mine. These include, My son, My brothers, My friends, My important peoples…. In any way shape or form. I get very defensive when it comes to them and I get very ‘over protected’. Ok, I might sound weird to you, or you might share the very same feeling when it comes towards your family. In my experience with Pisces, we share the mutual feeling. While sharing such a strong feeling to protect those who surround us, we also seem to want to defend those who are defenseless and ALWAYS speak out when something seems ‘unfair’. It’s funny though; I’ve been told I care more for others than myself. I disagree. I care for myself, love myself and am very pleased to be me. But I am so content with the fact that I can take care of myself and feel I can also be there for others. Although sometimes it does seem hard for me to take so much of other peoples ups and downs. I take in their emotions and get totally stressed out for them along with my own stress.

Another fact I’ve noticed (ok, and experienced) is that Pisces seem to fall deep in love with someone. But just as it s easy for us to fall into love it is also easy to fall out of love. We can find that person that brings us comfort and security and love them with plenty of sincerity. But as soon as we realize they are not meant for us, we fall out of love for them. We are emotional rollercoasters.... As we find the people in our life who mean the world to us, we take in as much as we can and cherish every moment as if it were the last. “Fishes swim through oceans of waters, standing still in the calmness of the sea and swimming hard in the roughness of the tides.”

This Day & Age

2006-09-26T15:44:00.000-07:00

There are many people in my life who assume that I am unable to move forward without a man on my side. Umm, hello!!! I had a friend, let’s name her A.M., she would tell me “Mija, things would be so much easier for you if you would just get married!” My aunt R, tells me all the time “You have to stop being so picky or you will stay all alone.” Most of my girlfriends and their husbands are constantly trying to set me up with friends or relatives. My co-worker mentioned to me the other day, “You should try on-line dating. It works.” And every time I happen to stay home, my brothers have to remark “Lori, you need a boyfriend!”

1- I’ve had one before, thank you. F.Y.I. Life does not get any easier just because you have a man on your side. In fact it’s like you just have somebody else to take care of or look after. Now maybe, and just maybe, if the guy & I were compatible enough to an extreme that we made each other happy as oppose to miserable, well maybe. But until then, I’m just fine, thank you. I am capable of doing many things for myself and I will be all right. (I think.)
2- I’m not “picky-picky”. I just know what I want. And so far, what I’ve had, I don’t want. Keep in mind I don’t regret any part of my ‘love’ experiences, after all is through those experiences that I’ve grown to who I am. But I guess once in a while I do think about that special someone who was made especially for me. Only God knows where he’s at & where or when I should meet him. Even if I was as picky as they say I am, he would have to be a gentle man, who makes me laugh, who cares for me and humbles himself to be loved. He needs to know the difference between being sincere, playful and when to give in. Maybe, I am picky.
3- The trying to set me up has got to stop. Even the Doctors I use to work for had their moments when ‘an interview’ would kick in and again they’d be shopping for a husband for their devoted worker. Not to sound concidete but I don’t’ think I need help finding someone (I think I’m a beautiful women, inside & out). After all I have experienced relationships before. Although it seems that some men are not comfortable with my honesty. They assume that I must be lying or being not myself. Others just assume I would never give them a chance and don’t even try. The worst are the ones that get weird out with all the chaos in my life.

In reality, the worst would actually be having found that person you taught you were looking for and them not being what you imagined at all. It hurts even more so to be well in tune with someone that you start getting so close to them. Close enough to put all your fears aside and imagine endless possibilities. But people & different circumstances get in the way causing doubts and having destiny work against you.
As I’ve mentioned before to my closest friends, in my lifetime I have found love; I have lost love and I have been loved. I now, have chosen to leave it all in God’s hands. Not in hopes that he may find “the one” for me, but in prayer that I may find contentment in knowing “I have loved and therefore lived!” “Because you have yet to live until you have loved.”------May God bring you all that you need to see all HIS love.

Chinese Proverb

2006-09-21T18:12:00.000-07:00

"A good laugh and a good cry both cleanse the mind."

I like to smile. Because if I smile it is only one step closer to laughter & I love to laugh. Call me "happy, happy, joy, joy" or whatever; But why not enjoy life while you still can.
Laughter helps us all keep worries away. Actually, laughter can also help keep us out of trouble. One time, two of my friends were arguing for whatever reason, and a joke helped cleared the air. (It also helped them forget 'I' was the reason they were arguing to begin with.)

If you broke up with that person that wasn't for you in the first place, just laugh. Laugh at his stinky ass feet or her awful cooking. Better yet, laugh at all those good times you've got to spend together; learn from the experience and move on. I know, it's easier said then done. It took me a while to forget, and I was actualy dating 'SHRECK' himself.
(Ok, that's what my family called him, but only because he was a bit shorter, had a fat stomach and an oager looking nose.) Wow, that doesn't say much for my taste, ha?

If you are having problems at work and are getting 'stressed the $%(^%^&) out', just sit back, take a deep breath and laugh. Laugh at the stupid way your boss slirps her coffee or how your supervisor snorts when HE laughs. My personal favorite, is to laugh at that person sitting in a desk next to the restroom. (pee-u) I know it's not like that at all places, but here where I work, there is actually a person who has her desk directly in front of the 'women's' restroom. We constantly have to revive her. Pobresita.....

If you are in the waiting room at a hospital, (I sincerely hope everything comes out alright) but in the meantime take a look around you and laugh. (Not too loud please, keep in mind that you are in a hospital.) Laugh at that lady in the elevator who's pulling out her murph because she thinks nobody could see her (forgetting there is cameras). Laugh at the way your aunt keeps going to pee because she cannot stop drinking coffee. If I were staying in the hospital right at this moment, I would walk around with my robe backwards just for laughs. But that's just me.....

We all have troubles, worries and stress. In my opinion there is three things people have in common: The ABILITY to Love. The ABILITY to Laugh. The ABILITY to make the best of every situation. God gives us these abilities, is how we choose to use them that matters.

What makes you laugh? Do you have any jokes or experiences to share?

KRAZY? ME? K.

2006-09-21T18:00:00.000-07:00

When my friend Chely first told me about this ‘blog thing’’ I saw it as a way to just write down some stuff I need to let out. But the more time I spend reading other people’s blogs (not that many) I’ve realized ‘MY BLOGG IS NOT AS INTERESTING’ as theirs. Chely wanted me to share some of the crazy things I go through, but she might not know this, things have changed. It’s been just a few months, but I have turned around so much in my life, it’s amazing. Then again, I do love ‘mi vida loca’ and all those ‘krazy-ass’ experiences I go through. Therefore, now that I think about it, there is always plenty to talk about and share with fellow readers.

My promise to myself: “I promise to write every last thought in my mind; whether it interests others or not. After all, writing has always been my therapy.”

SUPRISE!!!!!

2006-09-18T12:49:00.000-07:00

It was Branden's 10th Birthday & we surprised him this past Saturday.....

Brotherly Love/Part Two/My Frankie

2006-09-14T19:18:00.000-07:00

****Try reading Part One to understand.....

The year was 1990........ One day the 'women' in my family were talking in the kitchen & I overheard (earsdropped) that my mom was preagnant. ;) To my delight I would be having another baby brother to look after. Finaly the day came, Frankie was born. Unfortunatly there was difficulties during labor. When he was born the Doctors declared him dead. Then as great as he is, God held him up to his arms and the baby began to breath. (Thank you Lord for loving me so much.)
As I recall, Frankie had trouble breathing the frist few months of his life so the hospital gave my mom a respitory machine to have at home and she had to take some special classes. Well, all is better now because this little baby has grown into an athletic, strong young man. He currently plays for his High School Football Team & is proud to say they won the game this past Friday 57-24 (or something like that.)

Yep, My baby brother is no longer a baby. But even when he was a younger kid, he has shown himself to be mature. He has been there for me and has helped me with Branden plenty of times. To this day, he acts like my older brother taking care of me as oppose to me looking out for him. And now that we have J.R. around, I'M IN TROUBLE....I see myself single forever. There is a guard on each side and my baby in front of them. But as the youngsters say: "It's all good."

---I am one lucky gal......

In Rememberance of 09/11/01

2006-09-13T12:33:00.000-07:00

That unforgettable morning, I was awoken to a frightening scene on the T.V. My husband at that time had taken the day off from work because it was our son’s 5th birthday that very same day; and we had a party planned for him that Saturday. I walked into the living room as he was watching t.v. I innocently asked him what movie he was watching, to my shock & dismay, he responded “it’s not a movie”. As soon as I took in the fact that this was really happening, I found myself cradled up on the corner of our couch. I was in a semi-fetus position, biting my nails away, hoping & praying that this was all a dream. But then, it happened, that terrible second this horrific image that will stay with us forever; the second plane hit the towers. I gasped for some air and as my heart pounded I tried my best to put that game face in front of Branden. But inside I feared that any minute now, Los Angeles would be struck too. As the day went by, I felt helpless; whishing there was something I could do to help. All I could do was to pray for this nightmare to be over. But it’s never really over, the fear is still there. All we can do is believe in the Lord & leave it all in his hands.

After this event you can’t help but have a sense of sadness & guilt for all those involved. Every year that goes by, Sept. 11th is a day that we all remember and hold a moment of silence for all that was lost. In my house it is also the day I celebrate each year God has given me with my son. Even if we are apart on this special day, we are close at heart. I give thanks to the Lord for whom he has blessed me with, & when I can I grab on to my son for dear life; swearing an oath to forever love him and show him just how much I do. That year Branden’s party was postponed for about two weekends after; his theme originally was Precious Moments Circus; we added a bit of our patriotic spirit by putting flags on the cake and patriotic colored ribbon throughout the park. It was the best party ever if I do say so my self because we all had this new appreciation for life.

The disaster of September 11th, 2001 brought tears to all of our hearts; through pain, anger and unity. The way the people reacted with such togetherness, well, it reminds me of a beautiful rose. You always see a beautiful rose with several petals standing on a long stem. As each petal falls, the stem is still standing; damaged but forever standing strong.

Brotherly Love/Part One/My J.R.

2006-09-12T08:05:00.000-07:00

So, I have a couple of brothers who apparently did not get the memo "YOU MUST STAY LITTLE KIDS FOREVER". Well, I guess I must learn to work with what I've got. But let me tell you something my friends, I've got ALOT to work with......

My oldest lil' bro (J.R.) is finaly home. (Dont's ask from where, it's TOP SECRET.) j/j I call it lay-away; others call it JUVI. Hmm! Anywho- I had not seen my lil'brother for the past 4 years. This is a boy who has been with me since his lifetime and all of a sudden no longer around. I could only say I am happy to say he was able to come back to us. Altough I am not sure how long that will last, because he is currently itching to run & be with his old friends.

I remember the moment my moms told me I was finaly going to have a baby brother, the year was 1988. I felt like the luckiest girl in the whole world. At the time we lived on Broadway in L.A. in a tiny, tiny little room. When the day finaly came, I was in school and my stepdad picked me up to take me to the hospital. He was sooooo cute! I couldn't stop holding him. I felt I had this sudden responsibility and now had to safe this baby from any harm. Unfortunatly, my mom had gotten so upset that I came with my stepdad to the hospital & not with her neighbor like she had planned it. So, she send me of to Texas with my Grandpa for the next 6 months. (another story for a later time) When I came back home, moms and JC (my stepdad) had mooved to another apartment near Soto St. in E.L.A. the apartment was a bit bigger and I walked in to see that my baby brother was growing. Since then, my priority was always to look out for this little one.

There was a day in particular I will always remember, where I had to proove this so called new responsibility.My brother J.R. was a little over 1 yr old. At that time my moms & stepdad were seperated. J.C. lived with an older lady, Molly. they lived somewhere over there by Eagle Rock. Anyway, my mom was so mad at my stepdad that she wanted to hurt him. (Also many, man stories for a MUCH later time.) She drove J.R. & me to Molly's house one day, as she parked down the street she told me what I had to do. She said that I needed to go knock on the door and ask for J.C. and hand him my brother. (According to her it was his turn to take care of him.) Well, no one answered, except for a guard dog out in the yard. My mother's 'wild' mind began yelling from afar to just put J.R. over the gate & leave him there. (Umm, HELLO!!!!! Please don't ask me why.) I pleaded with my mom in hopes that she would come to her senses. All she did was threaten me that if I did not do as she said I would get the beating of my life. Well, I had alot of those on an everyday basis & let me tell you, I'm still hurting from those bruises. As much as I feared my 'only' mother, I grabbed my baby brother and ran. I ran, ran & ran until I felt I couldn't run any longer.

I don't remember how far I got exactly. Alls I remember is earlier that day I had sneaked Molly's house # from my moms purse because I wanted to be able to call my stepdad in case of anything. (He was about the only one that would defend me when my moms would give me those beatings of my life.) So, I called Molly & as I heard the helicopter flying above and sirens drawing near, she convinced me that I was way too small to take care of a baby. I remember her asking me what was I planning to do when it came to work or where I was going to live. Hello!!! I was only 11 yrs. old. (Kids think they're so grown up......)

By the time my brother was 2 yrs old, my mom gave me another little brother to care for Frankie-1990. ..... to be continued.......

Dedicated to One I Love

2006-09-05T07:42:00.000-07:00

LIKE A LAZY OCEAN HUGS THE SHORE
HOLD ME CLOSE, SWAY ME MORE.
LIKE A FLOWER BENDING IN THE BREEZE,
BEND WITH ME, SWAY WITH EASE.

(Unkown Writer)

My Kind of Love

2006-09-04T18:37:00.000-07:00

In my opinion there is many kinds of love. There is the eternal love shown to us from our Lord which needs no introduction. There are many who've been blessed with the unconditional love from a parent or child. There is the companionship you get from your husband/wife after dedicating love to one another. There are some people who believe to have experienced love at first sight (that one that brought chills down your spine at first glance). Some have said to have encountered their one true love, wether now or at an earlier time; while others have had a temporary love which was just a learning experience. There is the fun-loving loyalty we give to our friends (even when they get on our nerves).
I, myslef, belive I have been blessed with each & every kind of love. To begin with, the Lord our Saviour has shown me his love in many ways. All those nights I cry myself to sleep or toss and turn in confussion, God puts his arms around me and conforts me. He always provides the safety I need and the assurance that 'this too shall pass'. He has been my guidance=my father; my companion=my husband; my shoulder to lean on=my best friend.
He chose a mother for me that would love me just enough to make me appreciate what was given to me. Those who know my story will have a better understanding of what I mean. (But for those who don't I'll briefly say: she didn't show me love on an everyday basis or some might even say 'never', but this resulted in my aprreciating all that is good in my life.) God also chose my grandma lala to teach me that we must always keep on a smile and not show proof of troubles surrounding us. She said that if we smiled to others we will make them feel better and they too will smile; in turn making us feel better. He then, put three boys in my life which he used to direct me away from the wrong path. JR (18), Frankie (16) our my two brothers, Branden (10) is my son. These three are who I've devoted my heart to. God uses them as my guiding light. I've also experienced all other types of love and have learned from each one of them. I have recently found true love in the LORD; and maybe in the future (a long time from now) I will also find 'The One' God made especialy for me. Until then, I will not be scared to be lost in the many different worlds of love.

Martha's Kereoke Party

2006-09-01T07:39:00.000-07:00

This past weekend Martha & Chely host a Kereoke Party with food, all kinds of music, food, dancing, food and laughter. Oh, yeah, and food.
IT WAS A LONG TIME COMING!!! Especialy when it is always so hard for us to get together. I remember when I first started going to places that had kereoke with Chely, Martha & Eva (they had to drag me there....) I would say "Oh, Lord, not again! Can somebody please get Chely away from the K.D.J. and let him do his job? Please get the microphone away from Martha and let others take aswing at it; and please, please somebody get Eva of the stage!" But all well that ends well, because I finaly warmed up to it.... yes, I finaly blessed people with my BEAUTIFUL vocals....
My first, second, third and ultimately MY song was "What's up" by 4non-blondes. Of course my voice is only torture for the audience, but that's the fun part. (hee hee hee)

By the way Chely: for some reason or another I feel I sang purty good that night, once everybody left ???????????? The next day was even better, Martha & I were able to spend some time together. She was sharing with me how God has blessed her in her life with the ability to fix things. We read scriptures wich in turned helped both of us. Thank you Martha, you are always there for me and I thank the Lord for you.

The begining.....

2006-08-23T18:53:00.000-07:00

So, I have this "friend" (Chely), most of you have already been blessed with her aquaintance; while others have only heard the vivid descriptions of how this one tiny person has made such a HUGE impact in my life. Therefore then, inspiring me to begin this blog project......when she said I always had a lot to share and this would be great for my writting hobby.
Thank you Chelster :) Love ya, man!

The story begins a long, long, long time ago (ok maybe not that long ago), it was May of 1993 to be exact. I met Chely at her daughter Thalia's babtizmal (who by the way was the cutest baby ever, except for my Branden of course). We met through a mutual friend (my ex-husband/her bro-n-law). (See things do happen for a reason.) Anyway, I was 15 and she was #, I looked to her for advice and confort since day one. She became one of my few good friends and eventualy I procalimed her my very own guiding angel. There are times I demote her from that position, especialy when she tells me I am wrong. But eventualy, I give in and put her right back where she belongs.....in my life, through my heart and at the end of that other phone line.

If I said it once too many times, I've said it not enough:Chely has this ability to broaden the picture for me. Which helps me soooooo much, especialy when I go into my own little world of wishful thinking. The Lord has blessed me with so much, but he has shown me his love best through the people he has put in my path. Each and every road has it's bumps and ditches, it's how we get passed them that counts. I need to share with you, that there's plenty of times I would still be stuck on the road if it were not for a guiding angel God has sent me.