Hello, is there anybody out there?

Ok, so I got the invite to my job's Xmas Party at some fancy, smanchy, swanky Country Club (guess I'll feel right at home) for Dec. 15th. Do you know what that means??????
I have approximately 35 days or less to find a date. Um, HELLO!!!!! That’s going to be very hard seeing as ‘I don’t date, I don’t want to date, I don’t talk to anybody I use to, and I don’t feel like meeting new people’. Gee, I sound old & bitter……HELP!!!!

Ok, so the first thing I did was ponder for days as to who I should invite in hopes that it wouldn’t come down to my ex-husband, again. See, in 2004 I was working for Cingular Wireless (another story for another day) and my first Xmas there was celebrated at Marina Del Rey (if I remember correctly) on a yacht with the theme of “Gamblers Paradise”. They gave out a ‘fake’ check to turn in for ‘fake’ chips and play on the different tables. The tables included 21, poker, roulette and others I’m sure. At the end we turn in the chips for tickets, put our names on it and crossed our fingers to win ‘something’. I actually won this little radio, which of course was re-gifted to a nephew (?). Basically, the best part of the night was the food and being able to spend it with my best friend Chely (who got me working there in the first place) and our good friend Eva. The point to this was, I had to invite my ex husband to be my date. Why? I don’t know…...maybe because I thought I wasn’t going to be comfortable sitting next to my ex-brother-n-law (who by the way is MY best friend’s husband) with some other man there. You should see the faces he makes….scares the heck out of me all the time.


Well, enough of the walk down memory lane. Now, I’m trying to find a date for this Xmas Party. So, the boys at work were showing me pictures of their friends on My Space. Let me just share that the boys in my department our barely 21 yrs old, now, imagine how old their friends are. So, instead on agreeing with any of them, I called my niece (Chely’s lovely daughter Crystal) who happens to have a sweet boyfriend with a ‘cute’ cousin. Of course, I can’t take him, because technically he’s already taken. Actually he is going to have a baby soon. Ok, next……..


I got home and my friend Sylvia starts throwing names at me. Mostly names from the pool hall I go too often (I like to play pool). My reaction ::::> Too old, too short, too young, too much of a dork, too much of a drunk, too horny, too stupid…..get my drift? Of course, she said “F&^%^%^k off then!!!!!”

My coworker “D”, was eager for me to take her Daddy….don’t even ask me how old HE is, she’s 40+….. I asked if I could take my 10 year old son or my 17 year old lil’bro, and was politely rejected, “Adults only, blah, blah, blah, something, something.”

Finally, after teeth biting, nerve wrecking, butterflies in my stomach, I had the courage to call some guy I use to go out with (Yes, Chely, Nathan), yeah, um that didn’t go well at all. Point being, I still don’t have a date to my ‘pinchi’ party……………….