Cheers to the Battle Rocker

A toast, with a great tasting cup of coffee, of course.

This morning I read his a.k.a. emergency re:coffee and it inspired me to give you my coffee stories.

To begin, let me just mentioned that I have been drinking since I was a little girl. My abuelita Chabela would make a daily (all day) dose of café con leche. Yummy :) I would have to sneak some for myself because my ‘mother’ would scream at me saying “you’re too young to be drinking coffee, I don’t even drink coffee and you think blah, blah, blah!”. So, anyway, I obviously get the genes from my abuela. When I finally became an adult (15 yrs old or so), I was able to make my own café con leche (ha, ha). Now my son asks me once and a while for a taste, I say to him “you are too little to be drinking coffee, after all your young body doesn’t need this type of addiction. :( but you can always take a sip off your mommy’s café con leche ;).

Today, I woke up at 5:00 am; put my ‘agua a ervir’, and peacefully enjoyed mi café con leche at home. I arrived here at work about 1 hr ago, drank a cup from the fresh pot of coffee made by my coworker. By the time I actually begin working (8:00am) I should be ready for another cup. Now that sounds like an addiction, but it’s not. I actually don’t drink another cup til much, much later in the day.

Here at work just about everybody drinks their coffee. In fact, for my supervisor’s birthday I found the perfect gift. She and her husband enjoy fishing and this gift was something they can take along on their fishing trips. As I walked in to ’Starbucks’ (hello….) I saw this gift set that had a thermos and a pair of mugs for the coffee inside a backpack looking thing (????). She was ecstatic!!!! (Yeigh, brownie points for me……..J/J)

As for those who don’t drink coffee, I don’t know if I should feel proud for you or sad for you.

Pero YO, necesito mi café con leche :)

Just another FISH in the Sea

What’s your sign? I am a Pisces. From what I’ve learned Pisces are a water sign and are the most sentimental; which to me means they are the ones who seem to cry the most. Could that be why I cry for just about every little thing? I can be sharing a laugh with someone and feel a sentimental urge to take it all in. I have cried through movies as have all; but I cried through sleeping beauty, now that’s not normal. Being sad, mad and even happy make me cry. (Especially when I get so angry at something and can’t react to that person or that situation. Ooooh!) There is a game face that we are able to put on. As much as I tend to hurt for even people I don’t know, I am strong (at least I think so). From all the Pisces in my life (myself included) we are very caring and protective to ‘who’ belong to us. Notice I said ‘who’. The way I see it, we are not materialistic. You can have just about anything I own. Which in my case, would be plenty of shoes, books, pictures and cds. But, but! But don’t mess with anyone I have ‘proclaimed’ as mine. These include, My son, My brothers, My friends, My important peoples…. In any way shape or form. I get very defensive when it comes to them and I get very ‘over protected’. Ok, I might sound weird to you, or you might share the very same feeling when it comes towards your family. In my experience with Pisces, we share the mutual feeling. While sharing such a strong feeling to protect those who surround us, we also seem to want to defend those who are defenseless and ALWAYS speak out when something seems ‘unfair’. It’s funny though; I’ve been told I care more for others than myself. I disagree. I care for myself, love myself and am very pleased to be me. But I am so content with the fact that I can take care of myself and feel I can also be there for others. Although sometimes it does seem hard for me to take so much of other peoples ups and downs. I take in their emotions and get totally stressed out for them along with my own stress.

Another fact I’ve noticed (ok, and experienced) is that Pisces seem to fall deep in love with someone. But just as it s easy for us to fall into love it is also easy to fall out of love. We can find that person that brings us comfort and security and love them with plenty of sincerity. But as soon as we realize they are not meant for us, we fall out of love for them. We are emotional rollercoasters.... As we find the people in our life who mean the world to us, we take in as much as we can and cherish every moment as if it were the last. “Fishes swim through oceans of waters, standing still in the calmness of the sea and swimming hard in the roughness of the tides.”

This Day & Age

There are many people in my life who assume that I am unable to move forward without a man on my side. Umm, hello!!! I had a friend, let’s name her A.M., she would tell me “Mija, things would be so much easier for you if you would just get married!” My aunt R, tells me all the time “You have to stop being so picky or you will stay all alone.” Most of my girlfriends and their husbands are constantly trying to set me up with friends or relatives. My co-worker mentioned to me the other day, “You should try on-line dating. It works.” And every time I happen to stay home, my brothers have to remark “Lori, you need a boyfriend!”

1- I’ve had one before, thank you. F.Y.I. Life does not get any easier just because you have a man on your side. In fact it’s like you just have somebody else to take care of or look after. Now maybe, and just maybe, if the guy & I were compatible enough to an extreme that we made each other happy as oppose to miserable, well maybe. But until then, I’m just fine, thank you. I am capable of doing many things for myself and I will be all right. (I think.)
2- I’m not “picky-picky”. I just know what I want. And so far, what I’ve had, I don’t want. Keep in mind I don’t regret any part of my ‘love’ experiences, after all is through those experiences that I’ve grown to who I am. But I guess once in a while I do think about that special someone who was made especially for me. Only God knows where he’s at & where or when I should meet him. Even if I was as picky as they say I am, he would have to be a gentle man, who makes me laugh, who cares for me and humbles himself to be loved. He needs to know the difference between being sincere, playful and when to give in. Maybe, I am picky.
3- The trying to set me up has got to stop. Even the Doctors I use to work for had their moments when ‘an interview’ would kick in and again they’d be shopping for a husband for their devoted worker. Not to sound concidete but I don’t’ think I need help finding someone (I think I’m a beautiful women, inside & out). After all I have experienced relationships before. Although it seems that some men are not comfortable with my honesty. They assume that I must be lying or being not myself. Others just assume I would never give them a chance and don’t even try. The worst are the ones that get weird out with all the chaos in my life.

In reality, the worst would actually be having found that person you taught you were looking for and them not being what you imagined at all. It hurts even more so to be well in tune with someone that you start getting so close to them. Close enough to put all your fears aside and imagine endless possibilities. But people & different circumstances get in the way causing doubts and having destiny work against you.
As I’ve mentioned before to my closest friends, in my lifetime I have found love; I have lost love and I have been loved. I now, have chosen to leave it all in God’s hands. Not in hopes that he may find “the one” for me, but in prayer that I may find contentment in knowing “I have loved and therefore lived!” “Because you have yet to live until you have loved.”------May God bring you all that you need to see all HIS love.

Chinese Proverb

"A good laugh and a good cry both cleanse the mind."

I like to smile. Because if I smile it is only one step closer to laughter & I love to laugh. Call me "happy, happy, joy, joy" or whatever; But why not enjoy life while you still can.
Laughter helps us all keep worries away. Actually, laughter can also help keep us out of trouble. One time, two of my friends were arguing for whatever reason, and a joke helped cleared the air. (It also helped them forget 'I' was the reason they were arguing to begin with.)

If you broke up with that person that wasn't for you in the first place, just laugh. Laugh at his stinky ass feet or her awful cooking. Better yet, laugh at all those good times you've got to spend together; learn from the experience and move on. I know, it's easier said then done. It took me a while to forget, and I was actualy dating 'SHRECK' himself.
(Ok, that's what my family called him, but only because he was a bit shorter, had a fat stomach and an oager looking nose.) Wow, that doesn't say much for my taste, ha?

If you are having problems at work and are getting 'stressed the $%(^%^&) out', just sit back, take a deep breath and laugh. Laugh at the stupid way your boss slirps her coffee or how your supervisor snorts when HE laughs. My personal favorite, is to laugh at that person sitting in a desk next to the restroom. (pee-u) I know it's not like that at all places, but here where I work, there is actually a person who has her desk directly in front of the 'women's' restroom. We constantly have to revive her. Pobresita.....

If you are in the waiting room at a hospital, (I sincerely hope everything comes out alright) but in the meantime take a look around you and laugh. (Not too loud please, keep in mind that you are in a hospital.) Laugh at that lady in the elevator who's pulling out her murph because she thinks nobody could see her (forgetting there is cameras). Laugh at the way your aunt keeps going to pee because she cannot stop drinking coffee. If I were staying in the hospital right at this moment, I would walk around with my robe backwards just for laughs. But that's just me.....

We all have troubles, worries and stress. In my opinion there is three things people have in common: The ABILITY to Love. The ABILITY to Laugh. The ABILITY to make the best of every situation. God gives us these abilities, is how we choose to use them that matters.

What makes you laugh? Do you have any jokes or experiences to share?

KRAZY? ME? K.

When my friend Chely first told me about this ‘blog thing’’ I saw it as a way to just write down some stuff I need to let out. But the more time I spend reading other people’s blogs (not that many) I’ve realized ‘MY BLOGG IS NOT AS INTERESTING’ as theirs. Chely wanted me to share some of the crazy things I go through, but she might not know this, things have changed. It’s been just a few months, but I have turned around so much in my life, it’s amazing. Then again, I do love ‘mi vida loca’ and all those ‘krazy-ass’ experiences I go through. Therefore, now that I think about it, there is always plenty to talk about and share with fellow readers.

My promise to myself: “I promise to write every last thought in my mind; whether it interests others or not. After all, writing has always been my therapy.”

SUPRISE!!!!!

It was Branden's 10th Birthday & we surprised him this past Saturday.....

Brotherly Love/Part Two/My Frankie

****Try reading Part One to understand.....

The year was 1990........ One day the 'women' in my family were talking in the kitchen & I overheard (earsdropped) that my mom was preagnant. ;) To my delight I would be having another baby brother to look after. Finaly the day came, Frankie was born. Unfortunatly there was difficulties during labor. When he was born the Doctors declared him dead. Then as great as he is, God held him up to his arms and the baby began to breath. (Thank you Lord for loving me so much.)
As I recall, Frankie had trouble breathing the frist few months of his life so the hospital gave my mom a respitory machine to have at home and she had to take some special classes. Well, all is better now because this little baby has grown into an athletic, strong young man. He currently plays for his High School Football Team & is proud to say they won the game this past Friday 57-24 (or something like that.)

Yep, My baby brother is no longer a baby. But even when he was a younger kid, he has shown himself to be mature. He has been there for me and has helped me with Branden plenty of times. To this day, he acts like my older brother taking care of me as oppose to me looking out for him. And now that we have J.R. around, I'M IN TROUBLE....I see myself single forever. There is a guard on each side and my baby in front of them. But as the youngsters say: "It's all good."

---I am one lucky gal......

In Rememberance of 09/11/01

That unforgettable morning, I was awoken to a frightening scene on the T.V. My husband at that time had taken the day off from work because it was our son’s 5th birthday that very same day; and we had a party planned for him that Saturday. I walked into the living room as he was watching t.v. I innocently asked him what movie he was watching, to my shock & dismay, he responded “it’s not a movie”. As soon as I took in the fact that this was really happening, I found myself cradled up on the corner of our couch. I was in a semi-fetus position, biting my nails away, hoping & praying that this was all a dream. But then, it happened, that terrible second this horrific image that will stay with us forever; the second plane hit the towers. I gasped for some air and as my heart pounded I tried my best to put that game face in front of Branden. But inside I feared that any minute now, Los Angeles would be struck too. As the day went by, I felt helpless; whishing there was something I could do to help. All I could do was to pray for this nightmare to be over. But it’s never really over, the fear is still there. All we can do is believe in the Lord & leave it all in his hands.

After this event you can’t help but have a sense of sadness & guilt for all those involved. Every year that goes by, Sept. 11th is a day that we all remember and hold a moment of silence for all that was lost. In my house it is also the day I celebrate each year God has given me with my son. Even if we are apart on this special day, we are close at heart. I give thanks to the Lord for whom he has blessed me with, & when I can I grab on to my son for dear life; swearing an oath to forever love him and show him just how much I do. That year Branden’s party was postponed for about two weekends after; his theme originally was Precious Moments Circus; we added a bit of our patriotic spirit by putting flags on the cake and patriotic colored ribbon throughout the park. It was the best party ever if I do say so my self because we all had this new appreciation for life.

The disaster of September 11th, 2001 brought tears to all of our hearts; through pain, anger and unity. The way the people reacted with such togetherness, well, it reminds me of a beautiful rose. You always see a beautiful rose with several petals standing on a long stem. As each petal falls, the stem is still standing; damaged but forever standing strong.

Brotherly Love/Part One/My J.R.

So, I have a couple of brothers who apparently did not get the memo "YOU MUST STAY LITTLE KIDS FOREVER". Well, I guess I must learn to work with what I've got. But let me tell you something my friends, I've got ALOT to work with......

My oldest lil' bro (J.R.) is finaly home. (Dont's ask from where, it's TOP SECRET.) j/j I call it lay-away; others call it JUVI. Hmm! Anywho- I had not seen my lil'brother for the past 4 years. This is a boy who has been with me since his lifetime and all of a sudden no longer around. I could only say I am happy to say he was able to come back to us. Altough I am not sure how long that will last, because he is currently itching to run & be with his old friends.

I remember the moment my moms told me I was finaly going to have a baby brother, the year was 1988. I felt like the luckiest girl in the whole world. At the time we lived on Broadway in L.A. in a tiny, tiny little room. When the day finaly came, I was in school and my stepdad picked me up to take me to the hospital. He was sooooo cute! I couldn't stop holding him. I felt I had this sudden responsibility and now had to safe this baby from any harm. Unfortunatly, my mom had gotten so upset that I came with my stepdad to the hospital & not with her neighbor like she had planned it. So, she send me of to Texas with my Grandpa for the next 6 months. (another story for a later time) When I came back home, moms and JC (my stepdad) had mooved to another apartment near Soto St. in E.L.A. the apartment was a bit bigger and I walked in to see that my baby brother was growing. Since then, my priority was always to look out for this little one.

There was a day in particular I will always remember, where I had to proove this so called new responsibility.My brother J.R. was a little over 1 yr old. At that time my moms & stepdad were seperated. J.C. lived with an older lady, Molly. they lived somewhere over there by Eagle Rock. Anyway, my mom was so mad at my stepdad that she wanted to hurt him. (Also many, man stories for a MUCH later time.) She drove J.R. & me to Molly's house one day, as she parked down the street she told me what I had to do. She said that I needed to go knock on the door and ask for J.C. and hand him my brother. (According to her it was his turn to take care of him.) Well, no one answered, except for a guard dog out in the yard. My mother's 'wild' mind began yelling from afar to just put J.R. over the gate & leave him there. (Umm, HELLO!!!!! Please don't ask me why.) I pleaded with my mom in hopes that she would come to her senses. All she did was threaten me that if I did not do as she said I would get the beating of my life. Well, I had alot of those on an everyday basis & let me tell you, I'm still hurting from those bruises. As much as I feared my 'only' mother, I grabbed my baby brother and ran. I ran, ran & ran until I felt I couldn't run any longer.

I don't remember how far I got exactly. Alls I remember is earlier that day I had sneaked Molly's house # from my moms purse because I wanted to be able to call my stepdad in case of anything. (He was about the only one that would defend me when my moms would give me those beatings of my life.) So, I called Molly & as I heard the helicopter flying above and sirens drawing near, she convinced me that I was way too small to take care of a baby. I remember her asking me what was I planning to do when it came to work or where I was going to live. Hello!!! I was only 11 yrs. old. (Kids think they're so grown up......)

By the time my brother was 2 yrs old, my mom gave me another little brother to care for Frankie-1990. ..... to be continued.......

Dedicated to One I Love

LIKE A LAZY OCEAN HUGS THE SHORE
HOLD ME CLOSE, SWAY ME MORE.
LIKE A FLOWER BENDING IN THE BREEZE,
BEND WITH ME, SWAY WITH EASE.

(Unkown Writer)

My Kind of Love

In my opinion there is many kinds of love. There is the eternal love shown to us from our Lord which needs no introduction. There are many who've been blessed with the unconditional love from a parent or child. There is the companionship you get from your husband/wife after dedicating love to one another. There are some people who believe to have experienced love at first sight (that one that brought chills down your spine at first glance). Some have said to have encountered their one true love, wether now or at an earlier time; while others have had a temporary love which was just a learning experience. There is the fun-loving loyalty we give to our friends (even when they get on our nerves).
I, myslef, belive I have been blessed with each & every kind of love. To begin with, the Lord our Saviour has shown me his love in many ways. All those nights I cry myself to sleep or toss and turn in confussion, God puts his arms around me and conforts me. He always provides the safety I need and the assurance that 'this too shall pass'. He has been my guidance=my father; my companion=my husband; my shoulder to lean on=my best friend.
He chose a mother for me that would love me just enough to make me appreciate what was given to me. Those who know my story will have a better understanding of what I mean. (But for those who don't I'll briefly say: she didn't show me love on an everyday basis or some might even say 'never', but this resulted in my aprreciating all that is good in my life.) God also chose my grandma lala to teach me that we must always keep on a smile and not show proof of troubles surrounding us. She said that if we smiled to others we will make them feel better and they too will smile; in turn making us feel better. He then, put three boys in my life which he used to direct me away from the wrong path. JR (18), Frankie (16) our my two brothers, Branden (10) is my son. These three are who I've devoted my heart to. God uses them as my guiding light. I've also experienced all other types of love and have learned from each one of them. I have recently found true love in the LORD; and maybe in the future (a long time from now) I will also find 'The One' God made especialy for me. Until then, I will not be scared to be lost in the many different worlds of love.

Martha's Kereoke Party

This past weekend Martha & Chely host a Kereoke Party with food, all kinds of music, food, dancing, food and laughter. Oh, yeah, and food.
IT WAS A LONG TIME COMING!!! Especialy when it is always so hard for us to get together. I remember when I first started going to places that had kereoke with Chely, Martha & Eva (they had to drag me there....) I would say "Oh, Lord, not again! Can somebody please get Chely away from the K.D.J. and let him do his job? Please get the microphone away from Martha and let others take aswing at it; and please, please somebody get Eva of the stage!" But all well that ends well, because I finaly warmed up to it.... yes, I finaly blessed people with my BEAUTIFUL vocals....
My first, second, third and ultimately MY song was "What's up" by 4non-blondes. Of course my voice is only torture for the audience, but that's the fun part. (hee hee hee)

By the way Chely: for some reason or another I feel I sang purty good that night, once everybody left ???????????? The next day was even better, Martha & I were able to spend some time together. She was sharing with me how God has blessed her in her life with the ability to fix things. We read scriptures wich in turned helped both of us. Thank you Martha, you are always there for me and I thank the Lord for you.